My Portion Forever

Every morning as I am getting ready for my day, I am careful to select the right outfit, the right shoe coordination, to ensure my coiffure is magical and that my eyebrows are looking like first cousins. Call me a little vain but I love to look nice. I am not a flaunt but I care about my appearance. For as long as I have been a woman, I have always been that way. How I am perceived by others mattered to me. It mattered to point of bondage and I weighed the opinions of others above my own. I became characters and I changed roles to fit into the mold of what I thought would make people like me even love me. I lost my voice. I could not vocalize any objections or state my feelings because I learned how to parrot the sentiments of what I felt was popular despite it opposing my values and beliefs. I could not challenge anything and I compromised who I was or wanted to be in order to be liked.

Ironically, I love when I see individuals are just who they are, like every fiber that you witness of this person is genuine and authentic. There is not one ounce of replication. There is freedom in their essence because they dared to simply be who they are. There is a boldness and a strength that is hard to quantify but you can see its impact and its value. I often wonder how they get there. How do you arrive at fearlessness?

I often pray to God to be fearless. My insecurities and vanities can attack me in ways that are brutal and quite unfair. I eventually come to a sober place and I recall how fleeting my feelings are and how unimpressive we all are. In comparison to the standard of Jesus Christ, we are a hot, dungy mess. So why do I relish in the praises or the persuasions of other broken sinners? Why has that been such a challenging obstacle for me? Maybe it is because I have made idols of the approval of men. It could be my struggles with skepticism and unbelief in a proven worthy Savior. It could be the fact that I am fallen. I stumble but I recount the Psalmist's lament when he declares, "My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Read Psalm 73).

Our ways are so fickle. Our feet tread upon the Solid Rock but we often loose our grip on His promises due to the enticement of what others possess. If that be swagger, status or clout, we see that it looks like pleasure and we do whatever it takes to get closer and to touch it. Though we remain emptied by all of temporal, fleeting things of this world we still pursue it for the applause of the few. I am learning to allow God to be my everything, my all. His love was so divine that he sacrificed all to save my life from an eternal wrath, giving me an abundance of life here, now and thereafter. That type of gift demands my mind, my soul, my life and my all.

Let us pray:

Father,

Please....

forgive me for putting idols in my heart that rival so hard against you. I say that you are my portion forever. You are my strength and I will live my life to serve you always.

Amen!

#Psalm73 #MyPortion